She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
– Proverbs 31:12 (NIV)
This verse seems so simple but it’s easier said than done. How many times do we get upset with our loved ones, frustrated with the circumstances and people around us? And yet the Proverbs 31 woman brings good not harm. Common sense is that frustration and being upset is intertwined with harm and not good, don’t you think? Let’s look atthe meaning of the word harm or evil.
Evil/ Harm ra’ (rah) meaning to be bad, evil, disagreeable, malignant, unpleasant, evil (giving pain, unhappiness, misery), worst, unhappy, unkind, evil, distress, misery, injury, calamity, adversity. It derives from the root word ra’a’ (rä·ah’) to be bad, be evil, to be displeasing, to be sad, to be injurious, to be wicked, to do an injury or hurt, to break, shatte, be broken in pieces.
Now looking at it in context to the previous verse 11 and my entry – bringing harm pretty much means to break and shatter the man’s heart. If we shatter the man’s heart we also shatter, break our home. Look at the following scripture:
By wisdom a house is built,
and through understanding it is established;
through knowledge its rooms are filled
with rare and beautiful treasures.
– Proverbs 14:3-4
Previously we looked at Titus 2:5 which tells us that women are the keeper of the home. As we combine that scripture with Proverbs 14:3-4 I come to the conclusion that it’s impossible to be a keeper of the home without wisdom, understanding, and knowledge. It’s not talking about worldly wisdom but godly wisdom and understanding. And I believe above all it’s the understanding of love, of God’s love for us individually, that our house needs to be built on.
Above all, love each other deeply,
because love covers over a multitude of sins.
– 1 Peter 4:8
My command is this:
Love each other as I have loved you.
– John 15:12
As we build our house on the foundation of love and with the wisdom of God and fill it with the knowledge of His word we fill our own heart with good things.
For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.
– Matt 12:34b
Therefore as we will our heart with good things we will do our husbands good all the days of our life and gain favor and become joyful and prosperous in everything we do ourselves because we will our home and the heart with right, becoming, and pleasant substance.
Good towb (tōve) good, pleasant, agreeable, excellent (of its kind), rich, valuable in estimation, appropriate, becoming, right, benign, prosperous (of man’s sensuous nature), good understanding (of man’s intellectual nature), benefit, prosperity, happiness, joy.
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.
– 1 Peter 3:1
As a wife does good; respects her husband, submits to him to glorify God, His word says that the husband who hasn’t made Jesus His Lord and Savior will come to believe in Christ because of the way the woman lives her life, not by words but by example. I think this is one of the coolest scriptures regarding relationships and it shows that women who are submissive and live on God’s word have more authority than those who don’t.
As women we sometimes get entangled in fear very quickly, especially when things might not go the way we want them to go, of if we don’t see a result in the period of time we have set for ourselves. Let’s look at the following two scriptures:
like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
1 Peter 3:6
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
– Phil 4:6-7
Key is to trust God and not go ahead of His schedule. And rather than ‘overseeing’ or ‘forcing’ the growth of our loved ones we ought to do what God has clearly called us women to do. To completely trust him, knowing that we are following Him, and completing the tasks He has given us first in patience and love.
Don’t forget: God never intended for women to restore their men. He will restore them! All we need to do is follow God’s instructions for our own lives and not take on a mantle of control that was never meant for us in the first place. But we were entrusted with a mantle of service and love.
In this way we will have life abundantly!